4 am and I am awake

It's 4 am. I should be asleep right now but as you can probably guess I am a NERVOUS WRECK. I wouldn't let myself cry yesterday and now I am making up for lost time. I know I am going to look a mess in photos tomorrow, but that is all part of the process, right? My mind is racing with the thought that he is so much older then Annabel was when we got her. It is easy to take a baby and walk away and meet their needs. But a 4 year old????? I pray he likes us. That's all I keep saying over and over in my head. God has been in control of this from day one. It is is a miracle we are even here right now as we should not have been able to get a referral so soon after returning from China last year. So the question of whether or not God is in control of this doesn't even enter my mind. I am just so overwhelmed with the fact the God chose him for our family and provided for us to come back so soon. How do you ever show God your gratitude when you feel He has given you so much more then you deserve? Ok, now I cannot even see the screen. I guess it is better to cry it out now and not in front of Jacob. Tears of joy are always a good thing, but probably not for a scared little 4 year old boy. Please pray for us this morning. I know I will feel your prayers all the way over here. Pray for him. Pray he is not scared. Can you imagine how scary this must be for him? My heart aches to think of that. Pray God tells us what to do to ease his loss of his foster family. He has been with them for 2 years. That is going to be painful for not only him but for his mother too. Lord thank you for this little boy. I pray, joined with my family and friends in the states, that you prepare Jacobs little heart for us. I pray he is able to open up his heart to us and not be afraid. I pray we know how to comfort him the way he needs to be comforted. I pray your Holy Spirit eases his concern for what the future holds for him. I pray he feels our love. I also lift up his foster family. Lord I know they will have a huge void with Jacob gone. I know his foster mother is probably awake right now as I am crying as well but for a completely different reason. Lord give peace to her and assure her he will be loved and well cared for. Thank you again for this blessing. You have brought us half way around the world twice to take home what some might call strangers to us. Not meeting them uptil the day they became our children. But you prepared our hearts to love them like our own. Just as you did with us. We are definitely not worthy of these precious children you have entrusted with us but we are eternally grateful for the opportunity to bring them up knowing you and your love. I pray for Amber, Joey and Annabel today as well Lord. I pray they don't feel deminished in this whole process. Give us the strength, patience, and love that is able to spread to all four of them equally. I am so grateful they are here with us to experience this moment in time. I know they will see your love and power in the mist of all of this. I pray they are able to let their guard down today in the mist of other families receiving their children and cry tears of joy as well if that is what they need to do. I pray this is will be a defining moment in their lives that they will never forget. You are good and faithful, all the time. All the time, you are good. Amen By the way I added some more lines to my last entry. You might want to read it again. Guaranteed to make you laugh.